Checking In After a Week

Katsura outside our house

It's been a week since my first chemo infusion of the new regimen, and I'm happy to report that physically I feel pretty good. It has definitely been easier than last year so far.

Emotionally, I'm having some rough days. There are a number of reasons for this, which I'm sure you can imagine. One difficult thing to adjust to is how this is different from my experience last year. Last year the chemo and radiation plan had a defined beginning, middle and end, and I knew that ahead of time. I just needed to get through them and then I could be done.

I really like defined plans. But now, it's one step at a time, and it's a real exercise in going with the flow.

Going with the flow is not my natural way. I don't "play it by ear" that willingly, either. So having to just wait and see how things go with the treatment is really challenging. I just want to know!

But I know that even super laid-back people would have challenges with this one, not just us organized control freaks.

Something To Look Forward To

B. and I are headed out of town tomorrow for a few days to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. We're really looking forward to this! We haven't been away together in about a year and a half. The kids with be with their aunts, uncle and cousins and then my friend who is house and pet sitting for us. So I'm so grateful to the Village for helping us out.

And in a surprise twist, except for the fact we have reservations at a B&B, we are totally playing this trip by ear. (Now this I can manage!)

I know we haven't set up the "helping hands" website yet. That's coming probably in a week. I'm kind of dragging my feet because I don't really know what to ask for yet and asking still feels strange. I plan to get over that soon.

Thank you everyone for your love and support. When I'm feeling down and am by myself I imagine each one of you, and that rekindles the feeling of being supported that sustains me.