No Need to Walk on Eggshells

When someone I know gets bad news, a lot of the time I don't know what to say. Do I mention it? Do I pretend like it's not happening? Should I offer to do something helpful? Should I wait to be asked? Is there anything wise I can come up with to say? It can feel frustrating and awkward.

So in case you're wondering what would be helpful to me, here's where I'm at right now:

• It's OK if you choose not to say anything to me about this diagnosis - I won't be offended. I like living my regular life and having breaks from thinking about this situation.

• It's OK if you want to acknowledge this news. A simple "I'm sorry" or "This sucks" does the job well.

• I'm at the very beginning of this journey and am trying to take this one step at a time. Anything faster quickly becomes overwhelming. So it would be helpful if we didn't talk about things that are many steps down the road, such as the pros and cons of reconstruction, tamoxifen and other post-treatment drugs, and recipes for anti-cancer smoothies. :-)

• I love to talk about other things besides cancer, so when we do connect, let's talk about you. I really don't care how mundane it is - does your cat need to go to the vet? Are you considering an iPhone? What's up at your job? I might be able to come up with some non-medical topics myself.

• If I don't get back to you right away, it's not because I don't care. I just may have a lot going on. So apologies ahead of time if it seems like I'm ignoring you.

• I will reach out when I need help. This isn't exactly my strongest skill, but I'm working on it.

My mood, outlook, and general anxiety level change frequently. But this is where I'm at at this exact moment.