I know that it's really hard to know what to say or do when someone you know is going through a challenging time.
It's even harder when you don't have information about what's really happening. Do you ask their spouse? Do you ask them directly? Do you just wait until someone tells you something?
Too many times I've been outside of a friend or acquaintance's "inner circle", wishing I knew more. The more time that passed when I didn't know how bad or how improved a situation was, the more awkward I'd feel when I'd see that person.
And then later when everything was back to "normal", it just felt strange being left with the mystery of what happened. It was never a connecting experience with that person - it was distancing.
Well, I don't want you to avoid me because you don't know what to say. I don't want to go through some awful "blackout" chapter where no one knows what went on. I need connection right now, not distance.
However I don't have the energy to talk about this out loud with a lot of people. What I've learned in the very short time I've had to stress about this is that the times I can manage to think about something else are precious.
In other words, temporary denial is essential.
I like to write. You use the Internet. You can come check out this blog anytime you want if you're curious about whether I have an update.
And then when you see me, and when this is all over, I'm hoping we'll feel as connected, if not more, than we do now.
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